I am prefacing this by saying that I am NOT A CLINICIAN. I’ve come into contact with quite a few though. I’ve had many counselors, therapists, clinical psychologists, social workers, and other clinicians for my mental health journey starting at 13. I’ve worked with complex trauma psychologists in the UK. I currently work with an amazing group of mental health clinicians and it’s been the most insightful year and half of my life so far. Having my own therapist weekly helped, especially getting through some of the more personal reactions to working in the global mental health & extremism fields simultaneously.
All this to say that, while my observations obviously don’t have the weight of clinicians themselves, I can speak to knowing a little something about what it’s like to work with clinicians, both personally and from a research perspective. I don’t think many people really understand what goes on in a therapists office. I’m not totally sure I do either, but I can try to explain the magic that goes on when you can truly connect with a therapist, process your trauma, and start to heal. I think a lot of therapists are not great therapists, and there’s even a lot of bad therapists out there. But the really good ones I think understand something that is central to the clinical experience – that the relationship between the client and the clinician is a true relationship. It’s not just because you pay them. It’s not just because they’re a professional. The clinician truly wants to help people in general, and they care about you in particular. The relationship between a client/clinician is not any less genuine or important than the relationship with a good friend, a family member, or any other person who you look to with love. And for some clients, that clinician might be the ONLY relationship they have in their life that is emotionally healthy, grounding, stable and safe. Feeling seen and heard by others is a universal and fundamental human need. I think the good clinicians understand this and approach their relationships with their clients from that place. I wish more of society would understand this and do the same.
It’s hard living in society that has so many polarized groups, and especially hard knowing a lot about extremist ideology and those groups through my work. It’s hard to not feel anger and hate towards those who lie on the extreme end of any ideological spectrum. In my own case, I think my politics lean mostly left, progressive, I look towards nordic or European “civilization” models while understanding that they too are colonialist by-products and not infallible or even productive cross-culturally. Thus, whenever I hear about incel ideology, the groups that stormed the capitol, Trump supporters, and others who fall into various populations, it’s hard for me to not be angry at “these people” – I imagine it’s probably a young to middle-aged white man, but of course ideology can affect anyone. It’s like an invisible parasite or virus, jumping from host to host, spreading rapidly and societal contagion through manipulation of the mind.
There was a time when I used to think that violence against these groups would be justified, because I was just so angry about their existance. I would get emotionally unregulated whenever I thought about how much I disagreed with their views. But as I’ve gotten more into my research, I’ve realized how much my belief that violence is justified has changed. I would definitely say I’ve become much more pacifist since starting in this field. Part of that was having two good friends who have cops as close family members that I got to know as well, showing the voice screaming “ACAB” in my head that not ALL of any one group is bad. Part of that was also learning to emotionally regulate myself and not fall into despair while listening to news of abortion bans and everything else that raised my anxiety levels. Part of that was beginning to delve into literature to do with those who commit homicide, especially the psyches of those who perpetrate mass violence. I realized how much trauma is at the root of societal evils, like violence and homicide. I realized that everyone, no matter their demographics, is surviving and living a human experience, including childhood traumas. We ALL have our traumas, and not healing those traumas with empathy can lead to so much bad behavior. Perpetrators so often have some kind of greivance, are angry and distressed about something to do with the way their human experience is going. While I don’t agree with their belief system that fuels these emotions, I can agree that the distress one feels is very real, and very uncomfortable. It isn’t nice.
People today can better imagine the pain that someone who dies by suicide must have felt, thanks to more awareness around mental health and understanding that depression and other mental health issues are real parts of ourselves that need care. I started taking this understanding and applying it to homicide. The distress they have to be going through must be extremely uncomfortable, and that needs to be addressed. What place do mental health professionals, and the mental health field as a whole, have in helping to address this distress?